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THE 

SEWING CIRCLE MEETS 
AT MRS. MARTIN'S 



a Humorous Sftetcb in ©ne Bet 



By F. M. KELLY 



Copyright 1916 by Dick & Fitzgerald 



NEW YORK 
DICK & FITZGERALD 

18 Ann Street 

MAY 19 1916 



4 * 

- > & 



^ ^ 
^ V 







THE 

SEWING CIRCLE MEETS 
AT MRS. MARTIN'S. 



CHARACTERS. 

Eliza Mrs. Martin's maid 

Mrs. Martin President of the Missionary Society 

Mrs. Dodge Treasurer of the Missionary Society 

Mrs. Badger The minister's wife 

Miss Ella Peters , Mrs. Badger's sister 

Mrs. Smith Parish terror and member of the Society 

Mrs. Bunce. "| 

Mrs. Timmins I Members of the Missionary Society 

Miss Spooner j 
Mrs. Spruce J 

Time.— The present. Locality. — A suburban village. 

Time of Playing. — One and one-quarter hours. 

SYNOPSIS. 

Eliza objects to so much work without pay.. Arrival of " The 
Parish Terror," Mrs. Smith, who immediately starts things 
going. Others arrive and the fun begins. Eliza's eccentricities. 
The trials of the sexton, as well as those of the ladies of the 
society. Eliza serves tea and a hat-box. The unfortunate 
cookies and the sad end of the biscuits. Church fair discussed, 
more or less amicably, but generally less. More of Eliza's 
doings. The treasurer's report and how it brought about her 
resignation. The meeting disbands, having accomplished as 
much as, expected. 



4 The Sewing Circle Meets at Mrs. Martin's. 

COSTUMES. 

Modern, according to character portrayed. 

INCIDENTAL PROPERTIES. 

Plate, dish-towel, book, vase filled with flowers, tea cloth, tea 
service, teapot, plate of biscuits, bell, and large hat box con- 
taining a stylish hat, also a bill, for Eliza. Work-bag contain- 
ing a huge pink flannel nightgown, also spectacles for Mrs. 
Smith. Work-basket containing a red flannel petticoat for Mrs. 
Martin. Work-bag containing a hideous apron for Mrs. Spruce. 
Hand-bag, note book, lead pencil and sewing for Mrs. Dodge. 
Work-bag containing kimona for Miss Peters. Sewing for 
other characters. 

STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

As seen by a performer on the stage facing the audience, r., 
means right-hand; l., left-hand; c, center of stage; d. r., door at 
right; d. l., door at left; d. c, door at center. Up means toward 
back of stage; down, toward footlights. 



THE 

SEWING CIRCLE MEETS 
AT MRS. MARTIN'S 



SCENE.— Sitting- room in Mrs. Martin's home. Afternoon of 
April First. Doors at c. R. and l. Window up r. Sofa up 
l. Cushions on sofa, also a novel. Piano in any convenient 
place. The room is arranged in preparation for a number 
of ladies to gather around and sew. DISCOVERED Mrs. 
Martin, setting things to rights while waiting for the mem- 
bers to appear. 

Mrs. Martin (going to d. l.). Come! Come! Eliza, aren't 
those dishes washed yet? What in the world are you doing out 
there? Don't you know the Sewing Circle meets here this 
afternoon? Make haste with the dishes, then come and dust 
this sitting-room just as quick as ever you can. Mrs. Smith 
will be here before we can turn around and she would see it if 
there was a speck of dust under the carpet. As soon as you 
finish dusting make up a couple of pans of cookies and sweet 
biscuits. I suppose I shall have to give them a cup of tea. Dear, 
dear, I wish there was no such thing in the world as a Sewing 
Circle. 

ENTER d. l. Eliza, with plate and dish-towel in her hands. 

Eliza. So do I, mum. What with the ironing not done, and 
the dishes to finish up, and the baking to do, and the dusting to 
be done before them interferin' women gets here, and fresh 
flowers to put out, and the verandy to wash off — all in the twinkle 
of an eyelash, how am I ever to get done, I'd like to know. I 
suppose you couldn't bake them cookies yourself, mum? 

Mrs. Martin. Why, Eliza ! How could I ? I must get ready; 
S 



6 The Sewing Circle Meets at Mrs. Martin's. 

to receive those women. You are very inconsiderate, Eliza, 
what do you suppose I am paying you for? [EXIT d. r. 

Eliza. For doin' the work of three women in this blessed 
house, and I ain't paid reglar, either. Dash them sewin' women ! 
Why can't they come any other day but ironin' day, and me 
with the whole house to clean up. {Catches sight of a novel 
Mrs. Martin has been reading and has left on the sofa, sits 
down and takes a peep into it. Reads aloud stumblingly) 
" Dear heart, you are the one woman in the world for me, I 
dream of you by day and by night, you are the centre of my 
thought, my lodestar and my joy." My stars! if Tom Green 
would only talk that way to me 

Mrs. Martin (off r., calling). Eliza! What in the world 
are you doing in there? 

Eliza (jumps up hastily, thrusts plate under the sofa and 
book under cushion and begins to dust with the dish-towel) 
Dustin', mum, this place is awful dirty. 

ENTER d. r. Mrs. Martin, hurriedly. 

Mrs. Martin. Don't you see Mrs. Smith coming up the walk? 
For heaven's sake keep her at the door for a minute until I get 
the table dusted. (Eliza hurries out d. l., returns with a vase of 
flowers which she places on the table, spilling the water as she 
does so. Rushes out d. c, nearly overturning a chair in her 
haste) Awkward young nuisance! Dear knows what she will 
do before the meeting is over. Why didn't I leave that book 
alone and get ready before three o'clock. (ENTER d. c. Mrs. 
Smith) My dear Mrs. Smith, how lovely of you to come so 
early. Isn't this a beautiful day, so mild and balmy for the first 
of April? (Places chair for Mrs. Smith) I am so glad it is my 
turn to have the Sewing Circle to-day. I do so enjoy the 
meetings, and to think that we are doing so much good, making 
clothes for those poor, ignorant, heathen creatures, who never 
know the value of a good flannel petticoat until we make it for 
them. A true Christian woman, I often say, will sacrifice any- 
thing to send her poor heathen sister a flannel shirt — petticoat, 
I mean. Do sit down, dear Mrs. Smith, and make yourself at 
home. 

Mrs. Smith (sits on sofa, discovers book under cushion, 
gazes at it in horror and reads the title aloud). "Love's 
Bonds " ! Mrs. Martin, is it possible that you read this wretched 
jstuff, you, a member of the Christian church? 



The Sewing Circle Meets at Mrs. Martin's. 7 

Mrs. Martin. That dreadful Eliza must have left that boolc 
there. Really, Mrs. Smith, you cannot know what a trial that 
girl is to me. I send her to Sunday School and I allow her to 
go to church once a fortnight, but it does seem to me that strive 
as we may for some people's souls, we never win them. I 
must speak to her once more about those wretched books. 

Mrs. Smith (removes her bonnet, places it on top of the 
piano, folds her gloves neatly, opens work-bag and draws out a 
huge pink flannel nightgown) Where is your work, my dear? 
We should not waste one moment of these precious hours. 
(Spreads the garment over her knee and gases at it admiringly)] 

Mrs. Martin. Just a moment, and I'll bring mine. (EXIT d. 
r, Mrs. Smith, drops her work, looks under the table then under 
the couch, discovers plate, shakes her head mournfully and re- 
places plate; runs her finger over the piano and looks at it in 
disgust, does the same to the chair rungs and utters a scornful 
" humph ! " Is back in her seat sewing for dear life when Mrs. 
Martin RE-ENTERS d. r. with her work-basket and sewing) I 
hope, Mrs. Smith, we shall one day know the result of our 
efforts to clothe the naked and to reap the reward of our toil. 
(Threads her needle, and shakes out a red flannel petticoat) 1 
I am making a petticoat for some poor wanderer from the fold. 
I am afraid this is not a very good fitting pattern (Holding gar- 
ment around her) but then it doesn't matter what sort of a fit a 
heathen has, does it? What a splendid nightgown you are mak- 
ing. 

Mrs. Smith (holding nightgown at arm's length). Beautiful 
shade of pink, isn't it? I have always thought that even though 
they be poor heathen, we women who work for them should 
arouse in the objects of our pity a sense of the aesthetic, a 
love for the beautiful. I selected this lovely pink thinking it 
twould contrast charmingly with the skin of some black woman. 

Mrs. Martin. Why, then, my red flannel petticoat will be 
just the thing, but I wasn't clever enough to choose it de- 
signedly. 

ENTER d. l. Eliza, hands covered with flour. 

Eliza. Please, mum, Mrs. Bunce and Mrs. Timmins are 
coming up the walk, will I let them in? (Mrs. Smith looks 
over her spectacles at Eliza, letting her work drop) 

Mrs. Martin, Eliza! What do you mean? Let them in, of 
course. 



8 The Sewing Circle Meets at Mrs. Martin's. 

Eliza. Me hands is all flour, mum. (Whispers loudly) I'm 
bakin' the cookies. [EXIT d. l., followed by Mrs. Martin. 

Mrs. Martin (off stage, heard scolding). You great stupid, 
how often have I told you how to answer a door properly. 

Eliza (off stage, grumbling). Well, mum, how am I to do 
forty things at once, I'd like to know. If I had half a dozen 
hands I might be more nimble, and remember more, but seein's 
I've only got two you'll just have to be a bit more patient. 

ENTER Mrs. Martin d. l., crosses to d. c. and admits Mrs. 
Bunce and Mrs. Timmins. 

Mrs. Smith. I was so afraid you were not coming. Did you 
meet any of the other ladies? 

Mrs. Bunce. We left Mrs. Spruce, Mrs. Dodge and Miss 
Spooner at the milliner's. Really, those women are the vainest 
creatures, every one of them trying on the new spring hats, 
and threatening to buy one before they come to the meeting. 
I suppose they want to come and crow over those of us who 
have no new hats. 

Mrs. Timmins. For my part, I think the first of April is 
altogether too early to think of new hats. I wouldn't dream of 
buying my spring hat until the first of June. 

Mrs. Smith (looking scornfully at Mrs. Timmins' shabby 
hat). What June did you buy that one in, 1905? 

Mrs. Timmins (laughs nervously). What a joker you are, 
Mrs. Smith. If I did not know you had worn your own hat four 
summers I would really think you were in earnest. Oh, you did 
manage to use up that awful flannellette, did you? I remember 
seeing you buy it at the fire sale, but how in the world did you 
manage about the holes burned in it and the scorched places? 
You are the most skillful creature. I wish I could do as much 
with as little money as you spend. (Mrs. Smith glares at her 
but goes on sewing) 

Mrs. Bunce (anxious to change the subject). My dear Mrs. 
Martin, where did you get that maid of yours? Why, my dear, 
she actually held out her hand and asked us for our tickets. 

Mrs. Martin. She is the most awful specimen. I imported 
her direct and I have tried so hard to teach her, her duties. 
Sometimes I think she will be the death of me, but you know 
what servants are nowadays. 

Mrs. Bunce. I know to my sorrow, I had to discharge mine 
last week. She couldn't cook at all and when I found her frying 



The Sewing Circle Meets at Mrs. Martin's. 9 

(doughnuts in goose-grease, rather than waste it, I thought it wag 
time for a change. 

ENTER d. l. Eliza. 

Eliza. Mrs. Martin, here comes the minister's wife and her 
sister, will I let them in? 

Mrs. Martin. How often have I to tell you — (Rises, goes d. 
c. and returns with Mrs. Badger and Miss Peters) We are all 
so glad to have you with us to-day, Mrs. Badger ; you know you 
missed the last meeting, and you, too, Miss Peters. Beautiful 
day, isn't it. Did you meet any of the other ladies? 

Miss Peters. We saw what I think are three new hats, with 
women attached, moving this way, but they were so busy ad- 
miring themselves in every window they passed, we did not 
wait for them. My dears, when you see Miss Spooner's new hat 
you will turn green with envy. It looks like the nightmare of a 
dipsomaniac. 

Mrs. Babger. Ella, my dear, you shouldn't talk that way. 

Miss Peters. And Mrs. Spruce has one that would look 
young on her baby, but Mrs. Dodge is a howling swell. (Looks 
out of the window) Oh, here they come, the three graces. 
Faith and hope I see, but which of the three is charity. Look at 
them, oh, look at them. (All look out window and hurriedly 
draw back) 

Mrs. Badger. Ella, my dear, you shouldn't talk that way. 
How would you like to have people make fun of your new hat? 

Miss Peters. Well, when I am idiot enough to buy a hat like 
that, I shall expect to have somebody make fun of it. 

ENTER d. t. Mrs. Dodge, Miss Spooner and Mrs. Spruce. 

Miss Spooner. I know we are rather late, dear Mrs. Martin, 
but the spring hats are so fascinating we could not resist going 
to the millinery openings and trying them all on. (Mrs. Spruce 
takes off her hat and eyes it with great satisfaction. The ladies 
all try on the hats as the newcomers remove them) 

Mrs. Spruce. I really think it is the most becoming hat I 
ever had. But then most of them were becoming — to me. This 
one is simple, so, so dis-ting-ay, don't you know. But, my 
dears, the price — Ruination! (All seat themselves, the new- 
comers unfolding their work, chattering all the time) 

Miss Spooner. Well, I'm going to try to get this everlasting 



10 The* Sewing Circle Meets at Mrs. Martin's. 

sewing finished to-day. Dear me, we don't get much done in one 
afternoon. 

Mrs. Spruce (spreading out a hideous apron on her knee, as 
she bastes it together). I wonder if heathen women wear aprons. 

Miss Peters. I'm sure they will wear that one. I think that 
is all they do wear. 

Mrs. Timmins. Then why are we making nightgowns and 
petticoats for them? 

Mrs. Badger. My dear Mrs. Timmins, the first step towards 
Christianizing is civilizing. 

Miss Peters. And no person is truly civilized who does not 
wear a garment made by this sewing circle. And as no civilized 
woman is without a kimona, why, I am making a kimona. 

Mrs. Bunce. Well, by the time our bale reaches them, I am 
fsure we shall have to our credit a well-dressed detachment of the 
heathen. 

Mrs. Smith (ponderously). It is man that looketh upon the 
outward appearance. 

Miss Peters. Why, I always thought it was woman. 

Mrs. Dodge. While we are all here together, wouldn't it be a 
good time to talk about our church fair? 

Mrs. Martin. Capital idea, if we have really decided to have 
a fair. 

Mrs. Smith (decidedly). Of course we shall have a fair. 
Since my earliest childhood I have annually attended the church 
fair. I cannot imagine a Christian church without an annual 
fair. 

Mrs. Dodge. I suppose we must have them, but they are such 
a worry and nuisance. 

Mrs. Smith (reprovingly). A nuisance! Surely not that, Mrs. 
Dodge. Think of our love and devotion in the sacrifice we 
make to send salvation to the heathen. 

Miss Peters. Well, for my part, I believe if we sent the 
money we spend on labor and material, it would do far more 
good. 

Mrs. Smith. Perhaps it would be as well, Miss Peters, to 
leave these things to older and wiser heads. (Tremendous clat- 
ter heard in kitchen. Mrs. Martin rises and hurries to the 
kitchen) That dreadful girl, what has she done now? Such 
servants we have inflicted on us, and for the wages we pay 
(them, it is too bad. 

Mrs. Smith. The wages she pays them, takes a home girl, 
my dears, and pays her three or four dollars a month; wages! 



The Sewing Circle Meets at Mrs. Martin's. 11 

Humph! (Smash heard in the kitchen and Mrs. Martin scold- 
ing) 

ENTER d. l. Mrs. Martin, who resumes sewing, followed by 
Eliza. 

Eliza. I forgot to tell you, mum, Mrs. Jones and Mrs. Smith- 
ers came a while back and I didn't let them in. 

Mrs. Martin. You didn't let them in! You dreadful girl, 
why didn't you let them in? 

Eliza. You told me anybody as was a lady had a ticket and 
they didn't have no ticket, so I gave them their walkin' ticket, 
mum. [EXIT d. l. Eliza. 

Mrs. Martin (tearfully). What shall I do with her? Now 
Mrs. Jones and Mrs. Smithers will be mad enough to leave the 
church and nothing / can say will satisy Mrs. Smithers. 

Mrs. Badger. Don't fret, my dear, Eliza is certainly amusing. 
I should think she would keep things lively, at any rate. (Crash 
'heard from the kitchen) 

Mrs. Martin. I suppose that is another Crown Derby cup, 
that will be the third this week. 

Mrs. Smith (aside). Crown Derby! Ironstone, more likely. 

Mrs. Timmins. I thought we were going to discuss this 
church fair. 

Mrs. Spruce. Yes, now that spring is here, the fair must be 
our first consideration. We always hold it shortly after Easter. 
I wonder if our efforts will be appreciated this time. The last 
time we got up a fair there were decided hints from the pulpit 
about entertainments for raising money. 

Mrs. Badger. I don't think Mr. Badger said anything about 
that. 

Mrs. Spruce. Oh, we could read between the lines, Mrs. 
•Badger. Of course, Mr. Badger must voice his convictions, but 
considering what we do towards raising his salary, I really don't 
think — (Shakes her head dubiously) 

Mrs. Timmins. I don't think Mr. Badger really objects to 
our working for the church. 

Mrs. Spruce. Well, I'm of the opinion that the congregation 
in general, yes, and the minister, too, do not appreciate the way 
we work for this parish. I shudder when I look back to the 
days when there were no flowers on the altar, none of the little 
refinements of worship we have introduced. 

Mrs. Martin. Yes, I fear that Mr. Badger himself does not 



12 Tlie Sewing Circle Meets at Mrs. Martin's. 

realize what we have done since he came to the parish. You 
must not mind my saying so, dear Mrs. Badger, it is no reflec- 
tion on Mr. Badger, personally, but on the men of the church as a 
whole, they are so careless, so indifferent to our little innovations. 

Mrs. Smith. Since I first became a member of the Christian 
church I have noticed that all reforms, all improvements, have 
been introduced by the ladies of the congregation. Not a man 
would go to church if he were not dragged there by some 
woman, and / see that Mr. Smith goes regularly. 

Miss Peters. Oh now, Mrs. Smith, there are always plenty 
of young men there. 

Mrs. Smith. Do you think you are the attraction, Miss 
Peters ? 

Miss Peters (thoughtfully). No, I was just wondering why 
marriage removed their inclination to go to church. 

Mrs. Bunce. Oh, they'd go to every service if they got some- 
thing to eat. 

Miss Peters. Well, perhaps the way to a man's soul lies 
through his stomach. 

ENTER d. l. Eliza. 

Eliza. Please, mum, the caretaker of the church is at the 
door, and he wants to know if the ladies are going to give him 
a hand with the cleaning this week. He says the floor is all 
covered with peanut shells that Mrs. Bunce's little boys left 
there when they came with their mother to the missionary meet- 
ing, and he ain't going to sweep them up. 

Mrs. Bunce. The impudent old man! What do we pay him 
for, I'd like to know. 

Eliza. He says there's too much work for the salary he gets. 
And the flower vases is leakin' all over the church and it's Mrs. 
Dodge's week to look after them. 

Mrs. Dodge. It wouldn't hurt him to empty them for me 
after the evening service, and you can just tell him so, Eliza. 

Eliza. And he says some of the ladies must have took his 
dusters, mum, he can't find them all over the church. And 
Mrs. Timmins's daughter has been practising on the organ and 
mussed the place all up, and he ain't going to clean it. 

Mrs. Martin. Tell him we are very busy, Eliza, and the 
ladies will straighten things out on Saturday afternoon. 

Eliza. He says it's got to be done before Saturday, mum, 
'cause that don't give him no chance to clean up for Sunday 
with the ladies all fussing about. [EXIT d. l. Eliza. 



THe Sewing Circle Meets at Mrs. Martin's. 13 

Mrs. Smith. And that is the way our work is appreciated, 
it has been the same ever since I joined the church. 

Mrs. Martin. Yes, I would like to see every woman in this 
parish drop her church work for just one month, and see what 
would happen. 

Mrs. Timmins. Oh, do let us; wouldn't ft be lovely not to 
have it to do? 

Mrs. Smith. Mrs. Timmins, is it possible that I hear aright? 

Mrs. Timmins. Well, I would like a rest for awhile. If it 
isn't one thing it's another. If it isn't Mission Band it's the 
Young Folks' Union, or the choir suppers, or the Tennis Club 
or choir practice, and both my girls in everything I don't take 
a hand in myself, the Sewing Circle and the Flower Guild, or 
the Willing Workers, and a collection or a baking every other 
day in the week, and I think it's time to drop something. 

Mrs. Smith. Be not weary in well-doing, Mrs. Timmins, not 
weary. 

Mrs. Timmins. Well, if I could only be sure it was well- 
doing. 

Mrs. Badger. You think you have a hard time, my dear, if 
you were the minister's wife. 

Mrs. Smith. We've got enough to be thankful for without 
that. Not but what you do your duty as far as you know, Mrs. 
Badger. 

Mrs. Timmins. Well, I suppose it has to be done, any way. 
But this is not discussing the fair, is it. Now that so many of 
us are here together it would be a good time to discuss it, as 
Mrs. Dodge said. I suppose it will be the same old tune and 
sixpence, aprons, and dolls, and candy, and fancy work, and re- 
freshments. 

Mrs. Bunce {eagerly). Oh, let me have the doll booth this 
time, I do love dolls. 

Mrs. Badger {meekly). I always have had the doll table. 

Mrs. Bunce. Oh, I know you won't insist on it this time, I 
do want it so badly. 

Mrs. Spruce {aside). Less trouble than anything else, that's 
why. 

Miss Spooner. Mrs. Badger is the minister's wife and I think 
she ought to have the doll booth if she wants it. 

Mrs. Badger {plaintively). I always have had it at the other 
fairs. 

Mrs. Smith. Well, if Mrs. Badger wants dolls, let her have 
dolls. Now what about the handkerchief and apron stall? 



14 The Sewing Circle Meets at Mrs, Martin's. 

Mrs. Martin. I will have Eliza bring in the tea while we 
discuss matters. 

[EXIT d. l. and RE-ENTERS after a short delay. 

Miss Peters. Let Mrs. Bunce have the aprons, she seems to 
have a fondness for aprons. 

Mrs. Bunce. I simply hate selling aprons. I move that Miss 
Peters takes the aprons and I will take the candy booth. 

Mrs. Smith. Miss Peters has always had the candy booth, 
she likes to have the young men around it, but I think we really 
must have a change this time. 

Miss Peters. If we had you there in that pink nightgown, 
you would be an attraction. 

Mrs. Badger. Ella, my dear, you must not talk that way. We 
must be unselfish and helpful, give in gracefully, my dear. 

Miss Peters. I didn't notice you giving in about the dolls. 

Mrs. Martin. I am sure, if we take a little time, we can settle 
everything satisfactorily. I always think it is well to make care- 
ful preparation for everything beforehand, I don't believe in leav- 
ing things until the last moment 

Eliza (at d. l.). If you please, mum, there's no sugar. 

Mrs. Martin. You stupid girl, telephone for some, and tell 
them to hurry. (Turns hurriedly to members who are trying to 
repress their smiles) What a beautiful sermon Mr. Badger 
preached on Sunday night, I was quite affected by it. 

Mrs. Smith. In what way? I hope the seed took root, Mrs. 
Martin. 

Mrs. Martin. He didn't preach on seed, but on fruit. I didn't 
notice you at church, Mrs. Spruce. 

Mrs. Spruce. I couldn't go, I didn't have my new hat, but 
I'll be there next Sunday all right. 

Mrs. Timmins. Mrs. Jones had on the most frightful look- 
ing suit last Sunday, did you notice it, Mrs. Smith? 

Mrs. Smith. I noticed it, where does she get the money to 
buy such clothes. Depend upon it, my dear, Jones never earns 
the money for these expensive suits of hers, and a new one 
every season. 

Eliza (at d. l.). Please, mum, the laundryman wants the 
boss's shirts and collars, and I can't find them. 

Mrs. Martin. Why, Eliza, I left them all ready in the laundry 
bag. 

Eliza. Well, I thought those were the right ones, and I gave 
him the bag, but he says he ain't going to carry no such looking 
thing as that through the streets, if that's the right one. 

[EXIT d. l. grumbling. 



The Sewing Circle Meets at Mrs. Martin's. 15 

Mrs. Martin. Well, we are not getting much farther ahead 
with the fair, are we? Mrs. Dodge, you are the treasurer, how 
much money have we on hand? 

Mrs. Dodge (takes little book out of her hand-bag and runs 
over a column of figures, lead pencil in her mouth, announces 
result triumphantly). Forty-nine dollars and thirty-seven cents. 

Mrs. Smith (looking over her glasses). How much? 

Mrs. Dodge. Forty-nine dollars and thirty-seven cents. 

Mrs. Smith. I thought we had more money than that. 

Mrs. Dodge. Oh, no, you forgot what we spent on materials 
and supplies and the freight on the last bale we sent out. 

Mrs. Smith. I can't understand where it all went to, we must 
have more than that in the treasury. 

ENTER d. L. Eliza. 

Eliza. If you please, mum, the grocer's boy is here, will I let 
him in? 

Mrs. Martin. Why, of course, Eliza, let the boy in, what 
is he there for? 

Eliza. You told me, mum, not to let any person in that had 
a bill, and the boy has the bill for the sugar, mum. (EXIT d. l. 
Mrs. Martin, scolding all the way to the kitchen) 

Mrs. Smith (to Mrs. Spruce). Murder will out, I haven't 
enjoyed a sewing meeting so much in a long time. 

Mrs. Spruce. Well, for my part, I'm sorry for Mrs. Martin. 
That girl is a specimen, to be sure. 

Mrs. Badger. Hired girls are such a trial, but I suppose they 
are a necessary evil. 

Mrs. Smith. No such thing, if people would do their own 
work they wouldn't be bothered with hired girls. In my day we 
all did our own work and were none the worse for it, but now- 
adays people are too genteel to be seen hanging out their own 
washings. 

Mrs. Badger. But some of us are not able to do it, Mrs. 
Smith. 

Mrs. Smith. Stuff and nonsense, I've always noticed that 
those people who are too delicate to do their own work can go 
to two teas and a bridge every day, and keep it up week in and 
week out. But they'd faint dead away if their husbands asked 
them to sew a button on their Sunday trousers, so they give the 
mending out. 



16 The Sewing Circle Meets at Mrs. Martin's. 

ENTER d. l. Mrs. Martin. 

Mrs. Martin. Now, ladies, if you will put your sewing away, 
Eliza will bring in a cup of tea and we can go on making ar- 
rangements for the fair. (All begin to lay their work aside) 

ENTER d. l. Eliza, bringing in tea service, etc., spreads tea 
cloth over table. Miss Peters tries a new waits on the 
piano, members all chatting together as they move their 
chairs and make ready to enjoy the cup of tea. Eliza EXITS 
d. l. and RE-ENTERS immediately carrying a huge hat box. 

Eliza. The boy just left this hat box at the door, mum. 

Mrs. Martin. I didn't order a new hat, it can't be for me. 

Miss Peters. Oh, let us see it, any way. {Opens hat box and 
takes out a stylish spring hat. Ladies all exclaim and try it on 
before the mirror, Eliza, meanwhile completing arrangements 
for the afternoon tea) 

Mrs. Martin {taking bill out of the box). Twenty-two dol- 
lars, that settles it, ladies, it certainly is not for me. Eliza, 
where is that boy, is he gone? Just take this hat back to him 
and tell him there must be some mistake. 

Eliza {grinning). If you please, mum, he's sorry he made a 
mistake, he says the boss ordered the hat yesterday, but it was 
to go to Miss Primrose down the street. (EXIT d. l. Mrs. 
Martin, covered with confusion, followed by Eliza) 

Mrs. Smith. I knew it, I knew it, with his mealy-mouthed 
ways, and his poor wife with a hat she has worn five summers. 
The beast ! 

ENTER d. l. Mrs. Martin. 

Mrs. Martin. All a mistake, my dears, these errand boys are 
so stupid. 

Mrs. Smith {sotto voce). And hired girls. (Mrs. Martin 
sits at table and commences to pour the tea) 

ENTER d. l. Eliza. 

Eliza {in loud whisper). There ain't enough cream to go 
round this crowd, mum, and the cat's been at what there is. 

[EXIT d. l. 

Mrs. Martin. Well, bring the milk, then. Ladies, you will 
excuse the lack of cream under the circumstances. 



The Sewing Circle Meets at Mrs. Martin's. 17 

Mrs. Spruce (to her neighbor). Depend upon it, there was 
no cream in the first place. (All assist in passing the filled cups, 
sugar, etc. Mrs. Martin passes the cookies. All take one, 
taste them and lay them down on their plates. Mrs. Martin, 
observing, looks closely at the cookies, then rings the bell) 

ENTER d. l. Eliza. 

Mrs. Martin. Eliza, these cookies are very badly burned. 

Eliza. Well, mum, what with trying to watch the cat and do 
the ironing and bake two pans of cookies and scrub the kitchen 
and clean the stove and dust up-stairs, all in the twinkle of an 
eyelash, I ain't surprised the cookies is burned. 

Mrs. Martin. Take them away, and bring in the sweet bis- 
cuits, and make a fresh pot of tea. [EXIT d. l. Eliza. 

RE-ENTER d. l. Eliza, with teapot and plate of biscuits. 
Drops the biscuits all over the floor. Sets teapot down on 
the floor and picks up the biscuits, and passes them to all 
and EXIT d. l. 

Mrs. Badger (slipping her biscuit up her sleeve). This is a 
beautiful cup of tea, Mrs. Martin. 

Miss Spooner (places her biscuit in the front of her dress). 
Indeed it is. 

Mrs. Spruce. Where do you get your tea, my dear? (Cov- 
ertly slips her biscuit in bag hanging on the back of her chair) 

Mrs. Martin (rings bell). I always get mine at McCollum's. 

ENTER d. l. Eliza. 

Mrs. Martin. Some more biscuits, Eliza. Another cup of tea, 
Mrs. Badger? 

Eliza (drops empty plate on floor, picks it up and RETURNS 
with more biscuits). The boss is coming up the street, mum, 
will I let him in? 

Mrs. Martin. Eliza! Don't you always let your master in? 

Eliza. Not always, mum, there was one night you told me not 
to let him in. 

Miss Peters (hastily). I do wish we could settle this fair 
business. Look at the time we are wasting. 

Mrs. Badger. And there is another little matter, ladies, I 



18 The Sewing Circle Meets at Mrs. Martin's. 

wish to bring to your attention. The vestry needs a new carpet, 
it is really in a shocking condition. 

Mrs. Bunce. Yes, I was looking at it last week, it is dreadful, 
we must have a new carpet at once. 

Mrs. Smith. Where will the money come from? There is 
very little in the treasury, very little, indeed. 

Mrs. Dodge. And we can't take that, that forty-nine dollars is 
missionary money, remember. 

Mrs. Spruce. I am sure carpeting the vestry is missionary 
work, home missions, any way. And charity begins at home, 
Mrs. Dodge. 

Mrs. Dodge. Well, if we start that sort of thing, it is apt to 
end at home, too. 

Mrs. Timmins. That money was raised for the heathen, I 
don't think we ought to spend it on ourselves. 

Mrs. Martin. Not on ourselves, dear, on the church. 

Mrs. Timmins. I don't care, I will never consent to taking 
that money for a carpet. That money was earned by hard labor 
to spread the gospel among the heathen. Why, I grated twenty- 
five bottles of horseradish myself, and sold it too, for the poor 
heathen, and I will not grate horseradish to buy carpets, now 
then. 

Miss Peters. I don't care how the money is spent but I think 
the Ladies' Aid ought to carpet the vestry. 

Mrs. Smith. The Ladies' Aid has enough to do, now. We're 
raising the money to have the roof of the church fixed, and we 
can't do any more, we have no money to spare for carpets. Bet- 
ter have something over your head before you put something 
under your feet. 

Mrs. Badger. Couldn't we have a rummage sale, we might 
make some money that way. 

Mrs. Dodge. Well, we can't touch the missionary money. 

Mrs. Badger. We haven't had a rummage sale for a long time 
now. 

Mrs. Smith. Do you mean to sell the old clothes and buy a 
carpet with the proceeds? 

Mrs. Badger (brightly). Yes, or give that money to the 
heathen and spend what we have on the carpet. 

Mrs. Martin. I don't think Mr. Badger would like that, 
would he? 

Mrs. Smith. What has he got to do with it, pray? 

Miss Peters. I think he ought to know how we earn ouiT 
money. 



The Sewing Circle Meets at Mrs. Martin's. 19 

Mrs. Smith. What he doesn't know won't hurt him. 

Mrs. Badger. I'm sure Mr. Badger never minds what we do, 
if we only do it in the right spirit. 

Mrs. Smith. Well, for my part, when we do the work I think 
we have a right to spend the money as we please, parson or no 
parson. But as for the vestry carpet, the old one did well 
enough for the last twenty years and I don't see why it can't 
stay there a while longer. 

Mrs. Badger. But last week, when we had the strange minis- 
ter who didn't know where the holes were, he caught his foot in 
one and nearly broke his neck. My dears, I was so ashamed. 

Mrs. Smith (gloomily). Pity he hadn't, any man who 
preaches like that deserves a broken neck. 

Mrs. Bunce. We really ought to get a carpet some way. 

Miss Spooner. Couldn't we get up an entertainment, a min- 
strel show, or a poverty social, or something like that? 

Mrs. Timmins. We can't have too many socials and the church 
fair coming off. 

Mrs. Spruce. Why can't each one of uS give a little money 
and buy a carpet, socials are such a nuisance. 

Mrs. Smith. Some people have more money than brains. I 
think the congregation as a whole should consider this matter of 
a vestry carpet. 

Mrs. Dodge. We seem to have so little money to do anything 
with. 

Mrs. Smith. Yes, we have very little, surprisingly little. 

Mrs. Timmins. Supposing we lay this matter over until our 
next meeting. 

Mrs. Badger (worriedly). I wish we could lay the carpet. 

Mrs. Martin. I have an old carpet up in the attic that might 
tide over the breach. 

Mrs. Smith. Might what? 

Mrs. Martin. Might answer the purpose until we can afford 
a new carpet. 

Mrs. Smith (looking around the floor). Is it one that you 
have discarded, Mrs. Martin? 

Mrs. Martin (who has not seen the look). Yes, one I took 
off this room some time ago. 

Mrs. Smith. Oh ! 

Miss Peters. Well, that matter is disposed of. But I do wish 
we could get something done about this fair. What sort of re- 
freshments will we have this time, and will it be a sit-down sup- 
per or a hand out? 



20 The Sewing Circle Meets at Mrs. Martin's. 

Mrs. Badger. You shouldn't talk that way, Ella. 

Mrs. Spruce. Do let us have something new. I am so tired 
of ham sandwiches and layer cake and bread and butter and 
coffee. 

Mrs. Martin. I think, myself, we might vary the refresh- 
ments a little this time. 

Mrs. Smith (wither in gly) . Yes, let us have quail on toast, 
or roast turkey, or oysters on the half, or any little inexpensive 
delicacy. Vary the refreshments by all means. (Mrs. Martin 
touches bell) 

ENTER d. l. Eliza. 

Mrs. Martin. Remove these things, Eliza. (Eliza carries 
out tray and RETURNS immediately) 

Eliza. If you please, mum, what shall we have for supper? 
There ain't no meat. 

Mrs. Martin. No meat! What about the cold roast? 

Eliza (gloomily) . The cat got that, mum, while I was up- 
stairs. There ain't no handle on the refrigerator door, mum, 
and I can't hold it shut and do my work up-stairs at the same 
time. And the baker hasn't come to-day, mum, and there ain't 
no bread. 

Mrs. Spruce. Do what I do when he forgets to come, make a 
pan of biscuits. 

Eliza. There ain't no flour, it all went into them blessed 
cookies. 

Mrs. Martin. Well, for goodness sake, telephone for some 
more flour at once. 

Eliza. He said when I sent for the sugar, mum, that we 
-couldn't have no more goods without the money. [EXIT d. l. 

Mrs. Badger (hastily). I have just thought of the loveliest 
thing for the fair. Let us have a refreshment counter and 
make everybody pay extra for what they eat. We could make 
heaps of money that way. 

Mrs. Dodge. Why, so we could. One loaf of bread would 
make a lot of sandwiches and if we sold them at ten cents each 
just think of the profit we could make on a loaf. 

Mrs. Spruce. Oh, how lovely! Mrs. Badger, you are so 
clever. I am sure no one else would ever have thought of such 
a splendid scheme. 

Mrs. Timmins. Isn't that what you call a hold-up? 

Mrs. Smith. Not a bit of it, the public expects to be held up 
iat a church fain 



The Sewing Circle Meets at Mrs. Martin's. 21 

Mrss Peters. And they're not disappointed. I still have three 
match scratchers, five calendars and six pairs of sleeve protectors 
that I was compelled to buy at the last fair. 

Miss Spooner. To spread the gospel, my dear Miss Peters, 
we must use every means at our disposal. 

Mrs. Bunce. Oh, dear me, when I think of the work and 
worry and confusion, my heart fails me. 

Mr?. Smith. Mrs. Timmins, surely you are eager to make 
some sacrifice to better the condition of the poor benighted 
heathen who bows down to wood and stone. 

Mrs. Timmins. Oh, it's all very well for you to talk, Mrs. 
Smith. If you had six children and a husband to look after you 
would not be so anxious for a fair. I sometimes think we are 
all wrong about this church work. 

Mrs. Martin. Why, Mrs. Timmins; you surely do not mean 
that? How could the Christian church exist without we women 
and our work? What would the poor ministers do? Think of 
a church without a Ladies' Aid, or a Missionary Society, or a 
Glee Club! 

Mrs. Timmins. I often do think of it, I think it would be 
heaven itself. 

Mrs. Smith. Mrs. Timmins, do you expect to go to heaven? 

Mrs. Timmins. I don't much care sometimes whether I go 
or not. If there are no church socials there I believe I'd as lief 
go to the other place. {Begins to cry nervously) I'm just sick 
and tired of everything, fairs and socials, and sewing meetings, 
packing bales for the heathen who are far more comfortable 
without our old clothes — sweeping out the church because no- 
body else will, washing dishes and stuffing cake and sandwiches 
into the kids who swarm around every time we have an enter- 
tainment — I tell you, ladies, I'm sick of it all, and I won't have 
anything to do with the old fair. {Members sit in dazed aston- 
ishment while Mrs. Timmins, still sobbing, rolls up her work, 
puts it into her bag and hurries out d. c.) 

Mrs. Smith {sepulchrally). Lost! eternally lost! Little did 
I ever think to live to see a member of the Christian church sink 
so low. 

Mrs. Martin. I don't know but what Mrs. Timmins is right 
in some respects. After all, what do we accomplish? 

Mrs. Badger. I never saw in the Bible that women worked 
for the church this way, but I don't see how we are to get along 
without it 



22 !The Sewing Circle Meets at Mrs. Martin's. 

Miss Peters. Well, perKaps if we practised more real Christi- 
anity we would get along better, and do more good. 

Mrs. Smith. Real Christianity! Isn't it real Christianity we 
have been practising here this afternoon? 

Mrs. Spruce. Well, this church work is a problem. For my 
own part, I can't see that I am doing much good running around 
to church socials and letting the hired girl feed my family on 
half cooked victuals while I'm gone. 

Mrs. Smith. You may have the root of the matter but not its 
spirit, Mrs. Spruce. What does it matter if your pampered hus- 
band does have to put up with one poor meal, when, by meeting 
together weekly, we can make and provide for the poor heathen, 
garments such as these. (Holding up the nightgown) 

Mrs. Dodge. It is so hard to get along as it is,, and we have 
only forty-nine dollars and thirty-seven cents in the treasury. 

Mrs. Smith. We all know we have only that amount, Mrs. 
Dodge. 

Miss Spooner (thoughtfully to her neighbor). 'Real Christi- 
anity I 

Mrs. Martin. Well, ladies, life is short and we must do what 
we can while we are on this mortal sphere. But supposing we 
postpone the discussion of the fair until our next meeting. 

Mrs. Bunce (folding up her work). Remember you meet at! 
my house next week. (All make preparations to leave, folding 
up their work, putting on wraps, etc.) 

Mrs. Martin. I am so glad to have had you here to-day. 
This little discussion will do us all good. 

Mrs. Badger. I think, perhaps, if we had a meeting at the 
parsonage some evening soon we might complete the arrange- 
ments about the stalls and booths. You know I have al- 
ways had the doll table, and Ella always has the candy booth but 
there are so many other things to arrange. 

Mrs. Dodge (rising in agitation). Ladies, I beg to resign from 
the treasureship 1 of this MISSIONARY SOCIETY. I have not 
said much to-day but I will not sit at another meeting and be 
accused of stealing the missionary money. 

Mrs. Martin. My dear Mrs. Dodge, whoever thought of such 
a thing? 

Mrs. Dodge. I mention no names, but I am not altogether an 
idiot, Mrs. Martin. Here is the book and I shall send the bank 
1}ook over by one of the children in the morning. You will 
find every cent accounted for there, every cent. Perhaps you 
lhad better let Mrs. Smith look over it, it may convince her that 



THe Sewing Circle Meets at Mrs. Martin's. 23 

I have not pocketed the money. I'll never hold office in this so- 
ciety again. [EXIT d. c, hurriedly and sobbing. 

Mrs. Badger. You were rather uncharitable, Mrs. Smith, and 
I'm sure a better little woman than Mrs. Dodge never lived. 

Mrs. Smith {indignantly). Well, I'm sure! Me uncharitable! 
I've been connected with the Christian church since my child- 
hood and no person ever called me uncharitable before. Good 
afternoon, ladies. Mrs. Badger, when you see fit to withdraw 
your uncharitable remarks I shall again attend the sewing meet- 
ings. [EXIT haughtily d. c. 

Miss Peters. Recall them at your peril, Margaret Badger. 
The church would be much more of a Christian church without 
her. 

Mrs. Badger. Ella, my dear, you should not talk that way. 
Good-bye, Mrs. Martin. I feel -dreadfully upset. 

Mrs. Martin. I am so sorry this has occurred, it has spoiled 
everything. Good-bye, Mrs. Badger, good-bye, Miss Peters. 

[EXEUNT d. c. Mrs. Badger and Miss Peters. 

ENTER d. l. Eliza. 

Eliza. If you please, mum, Mrs. Bunce's little boy is at the 
Boor and he wants to know if his mother isn't soon coming 
home. The fire's out and there's no supper ready for them. 

[EXIT d. l. 

Mrs. Bunce. Oh, dear, I must hurry away home. I forgot it 
was nearly supper time. Good-bye everybody. [EXIT d. c. 

Miss Spooner. Come, Mrs. Spruce, you go my way, it is high 
time I was getting home, too. 

Mrs. Spruce. Good-bye, dear Mrs. Martin. We have had 
such a lovely afternoon. I wish the Sewing Circle met at your 
house every week. 

[EXEUNT d. c. Mrs. Spruce and Miss Spooner. 

ENTER d. l. Eliza. 

Eliza. Now, mum, all the old cats are gone and we can think 
about the supper. 

Mrs. Martin {setting things to rights in the room). Oh, 
Eliza! You dreadful girl, you have given me such a day. I 
was so mortified, all the afternoon. Whatever am I going to do 
with you? 

Eliza. Well, mum, you might pay me my wages. There's 
three months coming to be now, mum. 



24 The Sewing Circle Meets at Mrs. Martin's. 

Mrs. Martin. You ungrateful girl, how is it you are always 
thinking about money? You have a good home, and if I do 
say it, Eliza, a good mistress. What more do you want? 

Eliza. The money's coming to me, mum, and you shouldn't 
grudge me what I've earned, and three months is too long to 
wait, Mrs. Martin. I want to pay for my new hat. 

Mrs. Martin. Your new hat? What new hat? 

Eliza (grinning broadly). Sure, mum, you didn't think I was 
meaning it when I said the boss sent a hat to Miss Primrose. 
Why, bless your heart, mum, that was a bit of an April Fool I 
sprung on you; that was me new spring hat. 

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